« Previous | Contents | Next »
Listen
Ways of coping
This section tells you about some of the things that other people have found helpful after they have been raped and sexually assaulted.
Getting support
You don't have to cope on your own. There are people and agencies who want to support you. Think about the support you have around you. Is there anyone you can speak to? It may help to talk about what has happened but make sure you speak to someone you can trust. If you are worried about the reactions of your family or the people around you, you don't have to speak to someone from your own community. You have a choice about who to tell.
The people you go to for help should listen to what you say and should believe you. If they don't, speak to someone else.
You can speak privately to any of the agencies listed in section 4.
Keeping safe
There are lots of aspects to keeping safe. Do you feel safe where you live, at your work or in your neighbourhood? If not, you may need to think about contacting the police for help ( see here). Or you may want to make a practical change like your phone number. Are there any physical health risks as a result of the assault? It may be worth getting yourself checked out ( see here). It's also important to take care of yourself and avoid things which might make everything worse. For example, some people blot feelings out through alcohol or drugs; or take it out on themselves or others; or get into risky situations such as driving when drunk. If you think you might be at risk of any of these, try to find some other outlet or speak to someone about what is going on.
Putting yourself first
Often the last thing people think of is being kind to themselves. It might be hard for you to find something you enjoy at the moment. But is there anything you could do that you might find relaxing or comforting? Try to think of something which is not connected with the assault.
Looking after yourself
If you are going through a hard time it's easy to neglect yourself. If you neglect yourself physically it can be more difficult to deal with emotional pain. So, it helps to take care of your physical health. You may be finding it difficult to eat, sleep or exercise. Is there anything you can do to care for your body? Examples might be to have your favourite food or a hot bath. Try to get some exercise suitable for your fitness level. It's also important to get yourself checked out physically in case you need medical attention.
Keeping it simple
Often people find it helps to focus on day-to-day things that are easy to do like watching TV, playing computer games or a familiar sport or hobby. Is there anything small to get you started?
Try to cut down the stress in your life so you are not under too much pressure at work or at home.
Try to relax by breathing deeply.
It may help to write things down or draw or paint, depending on your interests.
Try to keep some kind of normal routine without overdoing it.
Being angry
You have a right to be angry. Expressing your anger can help you feel better as long as you do this without hurting yourself or other people. Are there things you can do safely? Some examples which other people have found helpful are walking or running, punching pillows, shouting, writing and painting.
Taking time
It may take a long time to feel that you are back in control of your life. You may go up and down. You may have to make a lot of difficult decisions. And there may be further stress such as a court case and having to give evidence. A lot depends on who you are and what kind of support you have. It helps if you give yourself time and don't expect too much of yourself.
Counselling, medication and other therapies
As time goes on, you may find that you are not coping with your everyday life and that you need some extra help to express your feelings or feel a bit better. This might include counselling, complementary therapies such as aromatherapy or relaxation techniques, medication for physical symptoms such as ongoing pain or depression and/or other professional assistance. Your GP may be able to help you or may refer you to other health services. You can also contact the support agencies listed in section 4 for further advice and information.
There are services and individuals who want to support you.
There is information on websites (see section 4) and in books. You may find it helpful to read more about the subject and accounts of other people who have had a similar experience.
« Previous | Contents | Next »