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Listen
MAKING CHANGES
Remember that the arrangements you make for your children now are not fixed for good.
As children grow, their lives, their interests and activities and their needs develop and change. So it's important that you and your former partner take a flexible approach to making arrangements for your children.
New partners
And remember, it's not just your children whose lives will change over the next few years. As you and your former partner move on, there will be new developments in your lives which might also have an effect on your children. For example, what will happen if one of you meets a new partner? This is something which can be difficult for children to come to terms with and it can be difficult for former partners too. You should think carefully and sensitively about how you introduce the new situation. Don't expect children to just 'adapt' or to see your new partner as a substitute for their other parent.
Whether or not you choose to write down what you have agreed in the Parenting Agreement - Plan document, you should aim to regularly review the decisions you have jointly made to see if they are still appropriate and think about whether you need to make any changes.
If you feel you need further advice or information about your situation, a list of useful contacts are included in the Parenting Agreement folder.
"I can't stand Dad's new girlfriend"
Some things to consider
- Will you arrange to regularly review the arrangements you have agreed on?
- What kind of changes in circumstances do you each consider will require you to look again at the arrangements you have made for your children?
- As your children get older and their needs change, how will you involve them in discussion about making changes to arrangements for their care?
On page 19 of the Agreement for Scotland - Plan document, you will see a series of similar questions about making changes to the arrangements you have made and where you and your former partner may want to record what you have agreed.
" I like Dad's new girlfriend. She's good fun. When I told Mum she went ballistic! I just keep quiet about it now. "
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